Monday, August 21, 2017
Sexual orientation = gene + Environment
Maybe I was Bi since I was a child. Maybe I was influenced by the environment, or two factors are at work. I can't make myself clear.
When I was a child, the people who lived near my house were under-educated. Among them were thieves, murderers, drug dealers and yentas. One day, a girl (she is a few years older than me) who lived downstairs told me to go to her house. Then she locked the room and asked me to strip and play with her. ←_← Although I was only five years old, my parents taught me about sex education, so I know what it means to strip naked. However, I still took off, ←_← I didn't know about bisexual at that time, and I wanted to see what she could do to me. Unfortunately, I don't remember what happened next. Now think of it, I didn't exclude homosexuality at that time. It may have something to do with my mother. I seldom saw her when I was a child. I spent most of my time with my father, so I lacked mother's love.
In elementary school, the deskmate was a very beautiful girl, and she did well in her study. When I was a child, my skin was very good and my eyes were very big. Maybe I looked cute, and my classmates and teachers liked to pinch my face. In class, my deskmate often touched my thighs. I felt like I had touched the electricity. It was very comfortable and I didn’t stop her. At that time I thought it was not strange for girls to kiss me and touch me.
When I was in junior high school, I was in a relationship with a girl in my class. The reason was that something happened almost at the same time in my and her families and then we comforted each other, so I had a crush on her. Later, she had a boyfriend, and I became backup. Because of my anger, I went to a boyfriend and broke up with her. Strangely enough, I really loved my boyfriend, and I found out that I could also love boys. So I realized clearly that I was bisexual.
When I was in high school, I met a girl who was 5 years older than me. At first she thought I was pretty. Just call me sweet. When I ignored her, she was so nervous that she thought she had done something wrong. She is a big chest tomboy, and she spend money like water. She is the daughter of a rich man, and my family is poor. As she often spends money on expensive gifts for me, I become more and more self abased, and she doesn't pay much attention to me any more. When two people are no longer equal in importance to each other. I made a breakup, and the sorrow drowned me out like the tide.